What having a brain cyst has taught me…


How can I list a brain cyst as a gift?

I was prepared for the battle. That’s why the Lord gave it to me. He knew that I could handle the diagnosis, the tests, the waiting on the results. He chose me for this situation.

I have never been more in love with my savior than I have been this week.

I have realized that life is so temporary. That we are all just here for a second and ultimately this is NOT my home.

I have been still. I have practiced resting in him. Everything I have ever read about, studied about, prayed about was for this moment.

One thing I have learned in this process is to worship. I don’t care if you are looking at me. I will not hold back. Whatever I held back before this cyst is bursting out of me now. My cup is running over! I can not contain the spirit of worship that I have in me.

This cyst is not about me- it is about him.

I don’t know what you have going on in your life, but I do know that you have two choices. You can coward down, run away, and give up or you can steady your stance and prepare for the battle.

I will fight my battles on my knees.

I am so thankful for such a time as this. I’m thankful that I feel Gods spirit more now than I ever have before. I’m thankful that he chose me to fight because he knew that I could.

I will praise the Lord until I take my last breath. Satan you have done NOTHING but increase my praise. You have done NOTHING but make me stronger. You have done NOTHING but make me love my God more now than I ever have before.

I am so confident in who I am in the lord.

I struggled for years with anxiety and depression, self worth, and love for myself.

This situation has taken all of that. I know who I am and who’s I am.

I hope when you see me next, you think “that girl is crazy”. I am not holding back. You are NOT promised tomorrow and you may get the same or worse drs report that I got last Tuesday, at any time.

I was prepared because I was seeking the lord in the good times. And now even the bad times are not that bad.

Heavenly Father,

I pray that you use my situation to speak to someone today. I pray that people will quit with their complacency and turn back to you. I pray god that people will be prepared to battle and fight before the situation ever arises. I thank you god for entrusting me and equipping me to handle this. I thank you for the outpouring of support that I have received from my family and friends. God I pray that if someone does not know you, that they will respond to your call. My only explanation for such joy in such a dark time is you. I know that your hand is upon me. I thank you for the lessons learned during this time. I thank you that I am bold, and courageous, and confident. I know that my life is in your hands. I feel you holding me and comforting me. I love you Lord.


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