“Indescribably Described”

I awake to the most beautiful sound of something that I can only describe as majestic. I have never heard anything like this before. I have heard similar sounds, but this is much different. It is almost as if I am hearing with renewed ears. The sound is so pure and melodic. It is gentle and soft spoken, yet it is bold and invigorating. It is so far from the ordinary tones that I have heard in my lifetime. The sound is richer and casts out vibrations that illuminate more than just my sense of hearing. I can feel this music through my body. I want to find the source of the resonating melodies in the distance, but my eyes start to come into focus of the room around me.

This is not the inside light that I am used to. Is the sun shining? I can feel the warmth, but I am not hot. Everything around me is brighter and the shades of color are all illuminated with a brightness that my eyes have never seen. There is life all around me. Trees, plants, and grass, all in a different hue of green. These colors seem to have the ability to speak. The yellows around me are so vibrant that every sense is sparked within; fields of golden colored daisies and the most beautiful amber sunflowers. I have never bestowed my eyes upon reds that are so crimson, scarlet, and cardinal. These tones of color are so heavenly, so far from anything I have ever known. They are almost incomprehensible because they are so captivating. The blues are deep like the sea and pale like the sky. You can feel the blue color of sweet berries as if you were squishing them between your toes.

Although I am this room, and it is full of life, I feel a longing to be somewhere else; to follow that sound in the distance. I don’t know if I am walking, but I am moving effortlessly towards the melodies that I am compelled to be near. Underneath me I can see a brilliant, coppery toned, golden floor. I move down to touch it. I needed to feel its cool, smooth texture. For the first time since I have been here, I notice a milky white material. It has been the most dense of the colors that I have seen so far but still its beauty is breath taking. Its pearl like color shines ever so vibrant as I pass a gate leading me closer to the sound.

This place feels like home. In this place there is a comfort. The comfort that you feel when you lay on an all white, fluffed, feathered bed surrounded by an unexplainable peace. My mind doesn’t have many thoughts. There is a stillness and I seem to only have one focus. I feel so alive, refreshed, and whole. I feel no darkness and there are no shadows. There is a completeness inside of me now that has been wrestling for so long to come to be. I don’t know where I am but I know that I never want to leave. I know that this is where my entire being desires to be.

This place, this scene, this position, has every desire fulfilled. My heart beats in a rhythmic series and it feels so harmonized with my surroundings. I overwhelmingly feel a presence of someone familiar. I have found the noise. I have found my focus; and as I fall to the floor, I understand my responsibility. The glorious sounds fill my ears with hymns and praises to my heavenly father. Choirs of the most angelic beings I have ever seen sing with the most beautiful and astounding voices. Tears of adoration flood my face. I crawl to the throne where my Abba father is seated and at his right hand, his son, Jesus.

All that I can do is sit in his presence, tears streaming down my face, with a heart full of thanksgiving, and lift my hands to him. When I lift my hands he reaches out and holds them; and even though the scars are on Jesus’ hands, I can feel them on Abba Father’s. I feel that tough part of his skin where when it healed it scarred. I feel that it is raised above the other parts of his hand. I rub over his scars knowing that those were for me. I feel his unconditional love for me, his child. I start to think that I could stay here forever; in this place of glorious scenery with colors that earthly words cannot explain. I could sit here at his feet, holding his hands, forever; and still never be able to comprehend the love that he has for me. I finally understand who I am and what I was created to do.

And then I start to feel another pull, in a different direction; an unwanted force pulling me away from Jesus, my creator. “But Jesus why? This is what makes sense. This is where I want to be.”

I start to see images of my husband, my daughters, and my parents. I see that they need me, that without me they might be lost, and their world wouldn’t make sense. Am I selfish? Everything here is so majestic and wondrous. I am with my savior. I was created for this very reason; to worship him endlessly.

When I wake up, I am in my bed. My little girl tucked in next to her daddy; the baby still asleep in her crib. My face, still dampened by the tears of worship, and my heart… thankful. Thankful to raise these babies under the discipline of the Lord, thankful to be the wife of a husband that loves me as Christ loves the church, thankful to have parents that invest in our family…

And until Jesus calls me home, I’m going to enter that throne room here on Earth, holding his hands as tears of adoration for all that he has done for me fall upon my face.

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