“Nobody’s gonna know. They’re gonna know. How would they know? How would they know?”. We’ve all heard it. The Tik Tok that went viral where people are “covering up” things so that other people don’t find out about it. It has become popular in our society to not let things be authentically known as they are because of the fear of other people knowing.
SHAME has crippled us from telling our true stories and exposing our true selves. Living with shame and covering up the reality of our true lives seems easier than being fully known.
I learned today that we are only going to be as sick as our secrets.
Shame dies when it is exposed to light and people still accept you.
In our culture, honor is based on performance. This performance can be your own or someone that you are associated with.
Let’s talk about association.
If someone (a group, an organization) that you are associated with does something dishonorable, you are connected to the shame.
At church yesterday our pastor was talking about Lucifer. As soon as I said the name Lucifer you thought things like; bad, evil, sin etc. But that is because of an ASSOCIATION that you have with the name Lucifer in relation to satan. Lucifer was actually an angel who was created with instruments inside of him. His name means “light bearer”. There was no darkness associated with Lucifer until he became satan. We just place those judgements on Lucifer because of the negative association.
Regardless if your shame is because of something that you did or is in association with something that someone else did, the only way to get rid of it is to expose it.
What I love most about my season of life right now is that my pain has meaning and a purpose.
I’m not an open book.
And you don’t have to be either.
But I have to relinquish the power that shame has over me. I have to expose some things to light. It has been a slow process for me but I know that God has so much purpose in my pain.
I learned that when you tell your story, your testimony, tell it as a hero and not as a victim, find beauty in the chaos, remember that you’re not the only one that goes through things, use your situation to become a better person.
When you hear that inner critic telling you that you are not worthy and unacceptable tell it to shut up!
I taught my daughter Psalm 34:4 without ever knowing what Psalm 34:5 stated after it.
4- “I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.”
5- “Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.”
For months my daughter and I recited Psalm 34:4 to help her overcome fear and to know that Jesus is always there to answer her when she needs him.
Little did I know that if I had just read one verse more I would have found the answer that I needed.
I am RADIANT because I look to GOD. My face will NEVER be ashamed.
Radiance by definition means light reflected by something. The something in this case is God. I have a light on me that is reflected off of God. God’s light shines upon me and because I have this light, my face is never ashamed.
Ashamed by definition means embarrassed or guilty because of one’s actions, characteristics, or associations.
So, because of God’s light being reflected off of him and onto me, my face is not embarrassed or guilty.
I don’t know who is dealing with shame tonight, but if I am being vulnerable with you, it is something that I have dealt with. I think we all have things in our life, that are a part of our story, that we don’t want everyone to know. Because honor is based on performance, and what would people think of us if we weren’t performing the way they think we should be?
As I sit here and wager between the thought of other people’s opinions and the freedom that is on the other side of exposure, I am thinking that there is life more abundantly in allowing God to cover my shame and set me free.
I’m thinking that there are people that can find purpose in my pain.
I’m thinking that there is courage in releasing the grip of other people’s opinions.
I am thinking that there really has been beauty from the chaos.
Thank you for the person that is reading this right now. I thank you that you have connected them to this page so that whatever words that you give to me may reach them. I pray that she will find purpose in the thing that is holding shame in the inner most depths of her soul. I rebuke the judgement of other people that tries to enter her life because only you are rightful to judge. I pray that she feels normal because she is not the only one that deals with shame. I pray that this woman, this precious child of yours, will look to you. And when she looks up God, just like your word says, I pray that you will reflect your light upon her face, and as you do, I pray that she will NEVER be ashamed. Help her to have opportunities to find purpose in her pain and to allow others to benefit from her story. I pray that she will begin to feel the freedom to authentically be her true self without fear of anyone’s opinion. I pray Lord that her self worth will not come from her Earthly performance but that she will feel worthy in you, her Heavenly Father that loves and adores her so much. I pray that she finds the power in exposing her shame and finding your light. Thank you for loving my sweet sister just the way that she is Lord. I pray that she will know that she has been created and destined for this time and that she will access the gifts and calling that you have for her life.
I surrender my life situations to your will God and will use my pain for your purposes. I will continue to look towards you so that I am radiant and never ashamed. Thank you for being such a loving and caring father. Thank you for carrying things that you don’t have to but chose to do so anyways.