Raw + vulnerable does not = wrong.

How often do you hear someone being particular about something and say “Oh you’re OCD” or “she’s so OCD”?

Without diagnosis’ , we all know what OCD is because we throw the term around all the time.

We tend to think of it manifesting as someone having to have something straight and in order. Or perhaps they’re really organized.

We tend to think of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorders) as something that doesn’t really affect people’s daily lives.

But the word obsessive is used for a reason. It’s extreme and beyond the point of being in control.

It started with chewing the insides of my gums.

And then I started to pick my fingers until they bled.

Embarrassed to go get my nails done or to let people see my hands.

And then, it progressed to my face.

It’s called Dermatillomania.

It is a form of OCD that involves picking ones own skin.

I don’t set out to do it.

I don’t want to be in pain or be embarrassed to be around other people.

It is almost like something takes over me, I pick, and then I am mortified at myself for losing control and letting it happen.

When I said I would advocate for mental health awareness I didn’t realize how much the Lord would prompt me to tell my entire story and to be so vulnerable with my struggles.

My heart is pounding as I type these words.

I just think that we need to bring awareness to saying people are certain mental illnesses. “You’re bi-polar” or “You are OCD”. Do we even know what we are saying?

I am not OCD actually. I am a grown woman who, on most days, with the help of the Lord, combats OCD tendencies. I have days, like today, where I “relapse”. A diagnosis is not my definition. I know who I am in Christ and who he says I am. He says that I am perfectly and wonderfully made and everything that he makes is GOOD! I am not broken. The sun will set tonight and rise again in the morning. And when it does, I will strive to do better.

We all battle something. It probably isn’t Dermatillomania and it may not be OCD. But there is something.

We are all flawed.

We all fight battles that we usually don’t tell others about.

I’m just crazy enough to share mine 😬

One thought on “Raw + vulnerable does not = wrong.

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